Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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