I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
