billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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