8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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