belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Come see our sink grown plant.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
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