I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
