who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize