i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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