I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
