the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
