i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
