I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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