I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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