you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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