He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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