So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
