i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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