To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
