Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
