i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
