Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize