You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
