This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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