i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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