I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
