Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
