Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
