Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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