We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
