I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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