I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
vagina is talking i cant
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
