i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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