So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
