It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
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When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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