Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
