Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
