apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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