All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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