He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I AM VODKA MAN
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
