I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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