drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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