oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
