great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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