is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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