I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Send help, water and tortillas.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
