girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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