addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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