we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
