With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
