Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
