Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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