his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
