you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I party with great urgency now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
