that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
