If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
