dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just want nice things and good sex
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
