Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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