They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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