Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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